muted

weekend

around two weeks ago i came home from a newbury comics run and when i opened the door, i saw mom at the top of the stairs, on the phone. she said "oh, here he is now" and then asked me if i wanted to talk to johnnie or if i'd rather call him back. i opted to talk to him.

he asked me if i wanted to see the kings of leon with him at the orpheum and told me that black rebel motorcycle club (brmc) would be the opener. i was only mildly familiar with brmc (owning the first of their 4 albums) and not at all familiar with the kings but i said "sure, that sounds cool."

the show was friday night. johnnie lives in norwood which is where i work. therefore, the plan was for me to bring a change of clothes to work and head to his crib when i was done making money. i got a little hung-up at the office and made it to my car just as my cellphone started to vibrate within the cupholder where it chills 9-5 each weekday (there's no cell service at work).

"where you at?"

"just got outta work. i'm on my way."

"working late on a friday? that sucks."

"yeah, sorry. i'll be there in a few minutes."

johnnie drove into boston. we were stuck in a lot of traffic but it just gave us more time to laugh and something else to laugh at. since we were starving, we stopped at this place he knew called "the otherside" on newbury st. annex before heading to the orpheum. the food was good and they were rocking the new black lips album while we were there. i felt cool for recognizing that. i am lame.

after dinner, we parked under the common and shared more laughs on the walk to the oprheum. since there was a boxer named leon spinks, we referred to the kings as the kings of leon spinks. then we shortened it to spinks and would shout it at random intervals.

once we reached the orpheum, we were directed to our seats and neither of us could believe how close to the stage we were. johnnie says that the rows started at DD and we were in LL which means 9th row, yo. two minutes after we sat, the lights went down and brmc took the stage. i shit you not. two minutes!!!!

brmc rocked pretty awesomely. i'm not sure if you've ever gone to a concert with me but i don't move much. i just kinda stand there. by the end of their set, however, my head was bobbing almost as much as johnnie's.

ok, i admit it. i missed the fucking boat when it comes to the kings of leon. johnnie had lent me their cds before the show and i only got a chance to listen to 2 of them once (and 1 of them nonce) because my ears have been busy. so, i was only slightly more familiar with them come showtime than i was when johnnie first asked me if i wanted to go to the show. and let me just say....

SPINKS.

ROCKED.

THE.

FUCK.

OUT!!!!

seriously, they were incredible - rock and roll at its southern-fried finest. the crowd was more into it than i've seen most crowds. johnnie turned to me at one point and yelled into my ringing right ear "i never knew spinks had so many devoted fans!!"

after they finished their set, thanked everyone and said goodnight, they walked off stage. maybe i just hadn't noticed this phenomenon before because i'd never been so close to the stage, but the lights stayed off and the roadies started re-tuning all the instruments, taking any suspense out of the "will they or won't they come out for an encore?" game. it didn't matter. the crowd was going nuts anyway. the best part was when johnnie yelled "SPINKS!!!!!" twice. if anyone could hear him over the noise, i'm sure they had no idea why he yelled that. too funny.

anyway, they came out and played three more songs, each better than the last. when the lights came on, it was clear that this was a one-encore show. as we walked out of the theater, we confirmed with each other that we had just seen one of the most rockingest shows ever. great times. oh, and lots more laughs on the drive home.

as a bonus, my answer to "what's the last concert you attended?" is no longer snow patrol. not that there's anything wrong with snow patrol. i just don't like to think about that night.

* * *

saturday i went to newbury comics to buy the first spinks cd as well as the new jose gonzalez. directly from newbury comics i headed to mark and adam's, blasting spinks as i went. "how the fuck did i miss this boat?!" i kept wondering and made sure to thank johnnie with one of them there text messages, see? maaaaa.

mark and adam's was fun. i threw seven cd's into adam's itunes for him and we had a three person party for a bit. it was really great to spazz. at one pt, we played paparazzi in the kitchen but the effect was not perfect since their cameraphones lacked the paparazzi-essential flash.

it was also good to talk with them. at the same time, though, it was also kinda tough because they got to see that i really am messed in the head. they tried to get me to see that things aren't that bad and i know they're right. but there are certain things i can't stop thinking about...and i wish i could...and i hate that i can't.

i think i left earlier than they expected. i listened to jose gonzalez on the drive home. what a beautifully somber little cd. i highly recommend it if you're into that kinda music. he does a pretty sweet cover of massive attack's "teardrop" (or, the house theme song as some of you might know it). but the whole cd is great.

* * *

today i took the 3:25 pm train into boston's back bay. i spent around 2 hrs in the city. i walked up and down the length of newbury st and took 100+ pictures. i kinda wish someone had been with me (especially on the train - riding it alone reminded me too much of working in nyc) but it felt ok to be alone, i guess. of course, i had to go into the original newbury comics. but...i didn't buy anything!!! that'd probably be more of an accomplishment had i not spent $24 at a newbury comics on saturday. oh well.

yeah.

word.

eddie and the taco

it looked like a regular taco. well, a taco that had been in a knife fight and then left for dead on the sidewalk is probably a little more accurate. but even so, a taco pretty much looks like a taco whether it's been in a knife fight or spat upon by a love-scorned montell williams. therefore, there was no visible hint of what eddie carstank was about to encounter upon closer inspection of the taco.

a few weeks ago, eddie quit his job as a pension specialist at a big time corporate company. he had worked there for almost five years but hated it from day one. he was promoted after the first year but never again. since he now found himself unemployed, he was low on money which meant he often went without food.

eddie decided he needed to go for a walk to try to take his mind off of his reality. he threw some batteries and cotton swabs into his backpack, put on his red adidas headband and headed out the backdoor of the apartment he probably wouldn't be able to afford much longer. a few steps into the walk, he realized he was missing his left shoe. he re-entered his apartment and after 117 minutes of lopsided searching, found the missing wheel in his broken microwave. he put it on and again left the apartment.

once outside, eddie took a left on secaucus road and aimed his legs towards the town's water tower which was 25 miles yonder. he soon passed a frog and a seagull engaged in a heated round of hopscotch on the curb outside henry's house of heavenly hamburgers. quite a crowd had gathered to watch the animals go at it, but eddie resumed walking after watching for only a few minutes.

as eddie came upon floppyarm avenue, a taco caught his eye in the alley to his right. the hunger that burned in his belly lead him slowly over to the slightly beat-up food package (you know, package of food). eddie snuck a peak behind him, then to his right and his left, to make sure no one was watching. satisfied that he would be unseen, he leaned in close to the taco and reached out to grab it.

at first, eddie thought his crippling hunger had made him delusional. but in short time, eddie was sure that the taco was serenading him with his favorite verse of "summertime" by dj jazzy jeff and the fresh prince ("it's late in the day and i ain't been on the court yet/hustle to the ball to get me a short set/yeah...i got on sneaks/but i need a new pair/cuz basketball courts in the summer got girls there...").

eddie didn't know how to react initially. then, almost as if he was on auto-pilot, he started break-dancing. soon, a crowd began to gather around eddie and the singing taco. as eddie did the crab, he could see the crowd laying money down beside the taco. he cracked a smile when he saw that the frog and the seagull clapped as he spun. when eddie stopped for a breather, the crowd erupted with the loudest ovation he had ever heard. he gave the taco a low-five and took a bow.

after a few more djjjatfp cuts, eddie and the taco were pooped and had to call it a day. the crowd cheered once again before dispersing jubilantly into the night, talking about their favorite performances as they went. when eddie bent down to count the money, he realized he had never felt so ecstatic and re-low-fived the exhausted taco. their windfall was substantial enough for eddie to book a national tour for himself and the taco.

eddie never went hungry again.

* * *

so...

tonight did not feature any more attempts to strangle myself with wearables, which is good, i suppose. i'd be lying, though, if i said that watching my name is earl and the office by myself didn't make me wish a couple of times that i'd been successful last night.

messages

woke up to two voicemails this morning.

#1: steeeeeve. it's brett. your message...i love it. i might have to hang up and call right back to hear it again.

#2: steve. brett. yup. it's just as good the second time around. call me.

i forget what my message even says. all i know is there's a "you're the best!" in there somewhere.

self-portrait '00

since drew "loved" my previous art so much...

this was...ahem..."drawn" at my desk at fidelity back in 2000 when i cherished my job and my life ohsomuch.

the 2007 version would have a bigger belly and a lot less hair, yo. i'd still rock the same v-neck sweatshirt/whateverthefuckthatis, though.

[i had to sift through anniversary/birthday cards and printed-out fidelity emails and to find this. yippee!!! i should probably chuck that shit soon, son.]

short-lived esteem bump

that

was

quick.

sequestered

i've basically banished myself to the basement over the past 2 months due to extreme esteem issues. saturday night i was finally able to drag myself outside of the house because i promised martha i'd make an appearance at aidan and jack's birthday celebration. it was nice to get this unsolicited feedback today:

martha: my sister-in-law found u rather hilarious

steve: seriously?

martha: yes. she said to me....steve was so quiet when he first got there and all of a sudden he was the funniest person in the circle

steve: whoa

martha: i said, it takes him a little to warm up but once he gets going, watch out

steve: nice